Theoretical
by peroxidepest17
Summary: Sano knows all the theoretical possibilities of air trek movement.


**Title:** Theoretical  
**Universe:** Air Gear  
**Theme/Topic:** Sex while riding.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Character/Pairing/s:** vaguely IkkixKazu? Maybe. Not really. Sano of course, is involved. As is poor Agito.  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** STUPIDITY.  
**Word Count:** 669  
**Summary:** Sano knows all the theoretical possibilities of air trek movement.  
**Dedication:** requested by kotszok- I shake my fist in your general direction.  
**A/N:** This is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever written _ever_. But I don't think I can pull of actual intercourse while…you know, air trekking. O.o  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, though I wish constantly.  
**Distribution:** Just lemme know.

* * *

"What a beautiful picture they make like that," Sano murmured to himself appreciatively, and adjusted his glasses in that way only perverted glasses-wearing freaks could when they were having perverted, freakish little fantasies in their perverted-freak heads. "Young men's sexualities are definitely at their most beautiful when they're unaware and curious, touching one another without knowing why... just doing what feels right…" 

Agito rolled his eye. "Fuck," he spat, and glared at the college student, "it's just practice. You're the only fucking dumbass in the world I know of who could make up some sick little fantasy where something like this was about _fucking_."

Sano's eyes glinted at the implied challenge against his superior knowledge. "I know for a fact that it's actually possible, Agito-kun." His eyes flashed.

Agito blinked. "What…really?" He turned to look at Ikki and Kazu then, the pair very innocently practicing their combined strength and balance in a drill Agito had designed because they were both hopeless dumbasses who needed all the stupid fucking training in the world.

The two teens were currently facing each other and breathing hard as they concentrated, each with one leg braced against the other's shoulder, Kazu practicing his backwards motion now while Ikki steered from the front. It was supposed to be an exercise that would help them to better adjust the subtle amounts of pressure they put on their air treks to compensate for the balance and proximity of having another person so close. At the same time, it would teach them to put different amounts of pressure on each individual air trek at any one time rather than the same on both all the time and as such, give them a wider range of motions when they moved independently of one another. Agito thought it was a very innovatively designed drill.

Sano of course, saw it as a possible way of fucking.

Agito snarled and turned back to the cocky son of a bitch. "How would they even? They're a foot apart."

Sano only smiled at the declaration, and Agito immediately felt the perversion in the air up about ten notches. "Well," the older boy began, "clearly they are missing me in the center."

Agito wanted to fucking kick his ass.

On the other boy's look, Sano chuckled. "Okay, no I'm being serious this time," he assured the fiercer of the two personalities in that thin little body. "Theoretically, if they could maintain their balance and momentum at their current constants, all they would have to do was shift their legs a little, hook around the shoulder, cant their hips… and if Ikki-sama leaned forward and Kazu-kun leaned just a little bit backwards… an adjustment of three percent plus and minus for each respectively on their grounded legs should…"

"Oh _god_," Agito muttered, and felt himself throwing up in his own mouth just a little bit when Sano's theory all came together. It actually made it seem possible It actually made such a horrendous thing seem _possible._

Sano's smile broadened just a bit as he continued, unperturbed by the interruption. "Maybe an adjustment of up to six percent, if they're both feeling particularly rowdy."

Agito stared.

"The only reason you're so good at air treks is because you're a fucking pervert, isn't it?" he asked after a moment, and suddenly felt much more tired than he ought to have.

Sano shrugged—unaffected. "Whatever motivates you to train, hmmm? The result is the same—I know more about the theories and practices behind air trek movement than most. This includes—but is not limited to-- how one might try different forms of fornication while moving."

The dirty-minded idiot was practically aglow with perversion. Agito felt like the _air_ he was breathing in proximity to Yasuyoshi was laced with bad touch and strangers-with-candy.

"Either way it's quite impressive," Sano finished, and struck a suitably dramatic intellectual pose. "Wouldn't you say?"

Silence. For a very long while.

And then, a very calm, very measured, "Get the hell away from me."

**END**


End file.
